Some Quotes on
Communication @ EssentialLifeSkills
Good Communication Skills - Key to Any Success
Good communication skills are
key to success in life, work and
relationships. Without effective communication, a message can turn into error,
misunderstanding, frustration, or even disaster by being misinterpreted or
poorly delivered.
Communication is the process
by which we exchange information between individuals or groups of people. It is
a process where we try as clearly and accurately as we can, to convey our
thoughts, intentions and objectives.
Communication is successful
only when both the sender and the receiver understand the same information.
In today's highly
informational and technological environment it has
become increasingly important to have good communication skills.
While many individuals still
continue to struggle, the inability to communicate effectively will hold them
back not only in their careers, but in social and personal relationships.
The steps for acquiring good
communication skills:
1.
Know what you want to say and why. Understand
clearly the purpose and intent of your message. Know to whom you are
communicating and why. Consider any barriers you may encounter such as cultural
differences or situational circumstances (gender, age, or economic biases). Ask
yourself what outcome you want to achieve and the impression you want to leave.
2.
How will you say it? We're all aware
by now, that it's not always what you say, but how you say it that counts.
Begin by making eye contact. You inspire trust and confidence when you look a
person in the eyes when you speak. Second, be aware of your body language since
it can say as much, or more, than your words. By standing with arms easily at
your side you tell others that you are approachable and open to hearing what
they have to say. If instead, your arms are crossed and shoulders hunched, it
suggests disinterest or unwillingness to communicate. Good posture and an
approachable stance help make even difficult communication flow more smoothly.
Make sure you speak in a cooperative, non-adversarial tone. Be non-judgmental.
3.
Listen. Communication is a two way street.
After you've said what you have to say, stop, listen, and look for feedback and
clues of comprehension. While the person is responding avoid any impulses to
cut them off or listen only for the end of the sentence so that you can blurt
out more ideas or thoughts that come to your mind. Respectfully give them your
full attention. When they are finished, to ensure that your message has been
clearly and correctly understood, ask open questions and encourage discussion.
Fine-tune your message if necessary.
4.
Reach understanding, agreement or consensus. Once you have
had the
opportunity to discuss your message and the feedback
to it, re-visit the purpose of the interchange. Have you reached common ground,
solved a problem, or clarified your position? If the purpose was to teach or
instruct, have you accomplished your goal? To communicate well is to understand
and be understood. Make sure that your message has been received as intended
and that any questions or concerns have been alleviated. You can even agree to
disagree. There are no guarantees that your communication efforts will be meet
with total compliance and agreement. As long as you understand each other, are
cordial and respectful, you can still have a successful exchange.
More Tips for Developing Good
Communication Skills
·
To obtain a better command of the English language
(or any other language), expand your vocabulary by reading and
writing more. Look up words you're not familiar with. The better you are able
to express yourself, the better your ability to communicate.
·
Practice your listening skills. Be considerate of
other speakers by waiting until they are done before stating your views.
Process what has being said before responding.
·
Learn to understand and appreciate opposing points
of view by being open-minded and making an effort to see things from
another's perspective. It will in turn, gain you more cooperation and
understanding.
·
Avoid trying to communicate when in an emotional
state. You lose objectivity and may say something inappropriate or regrettable.
Take time to think your position through before speaking.
·
Join an organization such as Toastmasters that
encourages you to develop a variety of communication skills as well as allowing
you the opportunity to meet new and interesting
people.
When you take the time to acquire and hone good
communication skills you open yourself up to better relationships, more career
opportunities, and increased self-confidence.
Moreover, you reach higher levels of mutual understanding and cooperation while
successfully attaining your goals.
All new skills
take time to refine, however, with effort and practice you can develop good,
even exceptional, communication skills.
The Art of
Conversation or Improve Your Conversation Skills
I happen to
believe that there is an art to everything we do and why not? Without flair and
panache most things become drudgery. Why settle for drudgery when you can have
art?
When it comes
to the art of conversation we've all met people who seem to have the knack for
it. They can talk to anybody about anything and they seem to do it with
complete ease. And while it's true that there are those who are born with the
gift of gab, luckily for the rest of us, conversation skills can be developed
and mastered.
In my
article Good Communication Skills - Key
to Any Success, I talk about the importance of being a good
communicator and I give tips on how to convey ideas and information
successfully. Many of the same tips hold true for developing good
conversational skills. Have a look at the article for added tips which I won't
be repeating here.
Conversation
is a form of communication; however, it is usually more spontaneous and less
formal. We enter conversations for purposes of pleasant engagement in order to
meet new people, to find out information and to enjoy social interactions. As
far as types of conversation, they vary anywhere from intellectual
conversations and information exchanges to friendly debate and witty banter.
While
there is more to having good conversation skills than being a comedian,
dramatic actor, or a great story teller, it is not necessary to become more
gregarious, animated, or outgoing. Instead, you can develop the ability to
listen attentively, ask fitting questions, and pay attention to the answers -
all qualities essential to the art of conversation. With diligent practice and several
good pointers, anyone can improve their conversation skills.
Tips on How to Improve Your Conversation Skills
Show interest and be curious. People who
are genuinely interested in others are usually interesting themselves. Why? Because they are
more open to learning about and understanding new things. Showing interest also
encourages the other person to be relaxed and share information more freely.
Display attentiveness by keeping good eye contact and listening actively.
If you
happen to be shy and need time to warm up before you share your own views, you
can ask open-ended questions or encourage the other person to elaborate on
their insights. This kick-starts the conversation and before you know it you
are engaged in a good conversational flow.
Ensure
there is a balance of give and take. A conversation can get boring quickly
if one person is doing all the talking while the other is trying to get a word
in edgewise. When that happens whoever is not talking begins to tune out and
there is no conversation!
There can
be many reasons for a lack of give and take. Sometimes nervousness can get in
the way and you ramble on without realizing it. Or, nervousness can make you
freeze and you don't know what to say next. If you find yourself freezing up,
take a deep breath and do your best to focus; smile, and then reflect on what
you want to say. If the other person is the rambler and you've tried several
times to interject but haven't been able to, then excuse yourself politely and
move on.
If later
on you realize that you were the rambler (heaven forbid), then at least you
will have made the most important step towards improvement which is -
awareness.
Determine
whether your tendency to dominate a conversation is due to nervousness or
self-involvement.
Either
way, review the conversation in your head. Look for spots where you could have
paused and allowed the other person to talk. For future conversations a good
rule of thumb is after you make a point, pause for either agreement or an
alternative point of view. Observe body language for cues whether to stop or
continue. For example, is the person glossy-eyed and therefore bored? Are they
moving towards you to speak and you just keep on talking? Are they looking
elsewhere (for an escape) while you are carrying on? In a good conversation
each person needs to express themselves or it is no longer a conversation but a
monologue.
Be
interesting and have something to say. While you don't have to be a comedian,
entertainer, or brilliant raconteur, you do need to be interestingotherwise
what would you say? If you are not well informed, tend not to read much, or
have very few interests, you will have very little to talk about except
yourself. Unfortunately, no one wants to hear about your latest troubles,
conquests, or daily routine. Yet so many dull conversationalists believe that's
what people want to hear from them. Who hasn't been stuck with someone at a
social event who blathers on about their family history, latest job interview,
or the like?
To avoid
being that person, become knowledgeable about world events, people in the news,
or what's going on locally. Take time to keep up with the latest music,new
technological discoveries, or recent best sellers. No one can know everything,
so if you can enlighten someone during the course of a conversation, you'll be
a hit! By the same token, you can learn something new as well.
Of
course, not all conversations are knowledge sharing gatherings or discussions
of global import. Many, especially at social functions, consist of
light-hearted and cheerful banter. In such cases, be aware of the tone and mood
of the conversation and go with the flow. If you are not particularly good at
one-liners, or much of a jokester, you can always listen, smile and enjoy the
humor. Never act like you feel out of place or ill at ease.
Be
relaxed, be yourself. If you are on edge, or trying to be
someone you're not, it will show and therefore doom a conversation to failure
before it starts. Admittedly, if you are not relaxed it's hard to appear as if
you are. Slow down and take a deep breath. If you don't do your best to relax,
you will end up saying something silly, unintelligible, or unrelated to the
conversation. Also smile warmly; it will make you appear pleasant and
therefore, more approachable. Worth noting: if you are trying to hard to be
something you're not, you will come across as a fake or a wannabe.
To start
a conversation, go up to someone and introduce yourself. It is both polite and
necessary to start things off smoothly. If the occasion calls for it, you can
offer a handshake and then smile and make eye contact. Being friendly puts the
other person at ease and opens the door for them to introduce themselves. If, for
whatever reason, your attempt is not well-received and you notice the other
person is cool or standoffish, bow out gracefully and move on. Do not take it
as a rejection; merely consider that the person has their reasons for not
reciprocating. Perhaps they are not feeling well, have had a bad day, or are
not in the mood for conversation.
To
improve, practice and then practice some more. The art of conversation, like any
skill, takes practice. Do not expect to be adept after your first few attempts.
It will take practice as well as exposure to many different social situations.
A good way to get practice before you venture out to an event is withfamily members and people you are
comfortable with. They can give you helpful and supportive feedback, which in
turn, gives you something to work on. You can never have too much practice!
Quick-Tips for The Art of Conversation
Possessing
the art of conversation improves personal, social and work relationships. It
gives you the opportunity to meet interesting new people and introduces you to
various new topics and subject matter. With practice and application anyone can
improve their conversation skills.
